


Square Filled: Free Space

by freebirddean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 08:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17040500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freebirddean/pseuds/freebirddean





	Square Filled: Free Space

“I’ve never known a human to actually count sheep.” The gruff voice reverberated close to my ear. It wasn’t startling, as a matter of fact, it was quite the opposite. This wasn’t the first time he had entered my dreams. His presence was calming and it kept all the nightmares and fears away. Ever since the first time he popped into my head, I would wait expectantly for him. It wouldn’t seem like very long and didn’t seem like much, but to me, it was the best part of my day. Sometimes I would even turn in early just so I could see him. 

I still don’t know his name but I know he’s an angel. And I know he is real. I’ve never seen him outside of my dreams and I’ve never physically touched him. But his frequency causes me to rather believe he is real and not that my mind created him to help me cope. 

He always finds me in the oddest of places. One time, he had found me in a bed of stuffed teddy bears, like a child. This time, my toes dangled in the clear water of a rippling brook that flowed down the middle of a grassy field. Fireflies flitted about, standing out like the stars throughout the wide open plain. There was a small obstacle course of hay bales in the near distance and the bleating of sheep echoed off the infinite night sky. Sheep small and large hopped and bounded about happily as their shepherd sat at the water’s bank with his crook, counting with a smile. 

“Technically, I’m not counting them, angel.” I stated with a giggle, lifting my finger to point at the robed man across the way. “That’s the shepherd’s job.”

“And what is your job?” Blue eyes turned towards me, twinkling brightly in the starlight and his face wrinkling with his breaktaking smile. 

“To wait for you.” It was a simple statement but I spoke it with such timidness that I surprise even myself. I curled into myself as I kicked my feet and dropped my eyes to watch the ripples upon the surface of the still water. It was always hard to stare at him for too long. He was beautiful and the way he looks at me with such awe and adoration always makes my face burn hot. The crinkles around his eyes and lips sent my heart into a spring and set off the butterflies in my stomach. 

I know I’m crazy for feeling so strongly for someone that might just be a figment of my imagination but I can’t help it. The man in the trench coat was everything I could ever want. I wish I could stay right here like this forever, just sitting peacefully with my perfect angel. He never touched me but he was always close enough to do so if he wished. Personal space must have never been something taught in angel school. I giggled at the thought and not even knowing why, he chuckled along. 

“What is amusing?” He asked me and I lifted my eyes to look at him again. 

“I was just thinking if they have schools in heaven for angels.” My giggles continued but he responded in that stoic seriousness that he dons when he is oblivious to humor. 

“Angels are created to know all that they are required to know. Schools are not necessary. If we wish to acquire knowledge, we simply absorb it.” An articulated answer that I couldn’t help but laugh at. 

For a moment, he seemed confused but quickly relaxed and joined in on the light and joyous laughter. Until the both of us doubled back. I fell onto the dew covered grass, not even getting myself wet with the action. He laid back next to me, still not touching me but I could feel him near. Our eyes lifted to stare at the wide expanse above us, enjoying the tranquility in comfortable silence. 

“Can I ask you something?” I questioned after a long moment. 

“You know you may ask me anything.” I smiled warmly at his response. 

Shifting to my side, I propped myself up on my elbow and rested my head in my hand. “What is your name?” His silence worried me, thinking that perhaps I had overstepped. My cheeks darkened and I cast my eyes down as my fingers fiddled with a blade of grass. The quiet lingered heavily, becoming uncomfortable now. It almost made me want to cry. 

It seemed like a harmless question, one that someone could easily answer. But he wasn’t just anyone. Perhaps his name was precious, only spoken under certain circumstances. Or maybe it was in a language that I couldn’t understand. My thoughts raced as I tried to sort through many different reasons why he would refuse me an answer. 

Then I felt a warm finger tuck under my chin. It led my sight to the overwhelming gaze of my angel who held a soft smile. His hand moved to cup the side of my face now and I could feel my heart swan diving out of my chest. “Castiel.” The name fell from his lips smooth as silk and I melted. My blush burned my flesh as I giggled shyly. The sound clearly pleased him for his smile grew. 

His fingers left my face and I instantly frowned, missing the touch of his calloused digits. I didn’t have to mourn the loss for long because his hand moved to rest over mine. He tangled our fingers together and what was left of my innards flip-flopped. A silence fell again but this time we just drowned ourselves in the simple feel of each other’s touch. It was innocent but it was the safest and happiest I have ever felt. It was like he was the sunshine overcoming my never ending night. 

As that thought crossed my mind, the darkness around us turned to day, leaving us sitting in the grass under the illuminating sun. Flowers bloomed around us, overtaking the wide open field. The sheep and their master were gone and a herd of deer grazed quietly instead. Butterflies did circles about our heads and we both watched their colorful wings flap as we smiled like we had not a care in the world. 

“It still does not compare to your beauty.” My angel stated as he turned his attention back to me. He no longer wore his trench coat or his business suit. Instead he was soft and casual in a plain gray tee and jeans. His feet were bare and his hair blew about lightly in the faint breeze. The sight of him took my breath away. 

My eyes glistened with tears that I didn’t realize had even formed. He took my other hand and held them both on my lap, bringing himself to sit closer in front of me. He leaned forward slowly almost like he was seeking permission. I could only blink and swallow back my emotions. He didn’t kiss my lips like I had hoped but the action he did perform seemed far more intimate. His lips came to my cheek, his mouth catching the tear that had slipped from my eye. He did the same to the other cheek, kissing my tears away. 

I wasn’t sure what had changed to cause him to act like this. He had been coming to me for so long that it seemed like a dream within a dream to have him here like this. “Why me?” My question made my own face crinkle in curiosity. 

He gave me the sweetest of smiles, one of his large hands coming to brush my hair behind my ear. He tilted his head at me with a faint shake as if I had asked one of the silliest questions. “How can you possibly ask me such a question?” I was ashamed, my eyes dropping but with a chuckle he lifted my eyes back to his. “You do not see what I see. The beauty of your mind, body, heart and soul. The brightest light and the strongest wit. You are perfection in my eyes. I can not think of any place I’d rather be than with you.”

“Then why do you only come to me in my dreams?” I frowned as new tears formed. I should have been elated to hear such words fall from his lips, but instead I could only think of how I wished I could have him to hold more than just in my dream world. His face fell and a frown took over his chiseled features. We stared into each other’s eyes for a long while. It was almost as if there was fear in his eyes, like the answer would break him. 

“Castiel.” I hoped the sound of his name would urge him on and I watched as a tear trekked down his face. My hands moved to cup his face as I brought myself to my knees before him. My thumbs wiped his tears away, his faint stubble scratching pleasantly against my silky skin. “What is it, my angel?”

“I am only in your dreams because you are never awake.” My brow wrinkled and my hands dropped back to my lap as I sat back on my calves. That just couldn’t be. I knew the times I was awake because I remember the times I went to sleep. My head shook in disbelief as I processed what I was told. “I know what you must be thinking but it is true. I would not lie.” 

My tears fell again as I slowly began to come to realization. I stood to my feet, hugging my arms around myself. I could feel my heart begin to race, this time from panic and distress. He rose to his feet, his hands gently closing over my elbows. The sun was gone and a fleet of dark clouds rolled over the sky. The flowers had withered and the brook ran dry. There was not a living creature to be seen. Castiel wore his trenchcoat and suit once again, the saddest of expression etched on his face. “What happened?” I whispered as rain began to fall down on us. 

The angel swallowed hard and his tears mixed with the raindrops glistening in the lightning flashes. “You were beaten. Raped and left for dead.” There was a pause as his body stiffened. “Your husband…” 

A sob wracked my body as the memory began to play. I nearly collapsed if it were not for Castiel’s arms saving me from the miry clay below our feet. I cried out in agony and he held me tight, bringing us down to our knees so he could envelope me in his embrace. I clung to him through the storm and he sobbed along with me, rubbing my back and placing tender kisses into my sopping wet hair. 

When I began to settle after what seemed like hours, my voice was a hoarse whisper, barely audible against his chest. I trembled and sniffled as I asked my next question. “How long?”

He let out a shaky breath and ran his fingers through my hair. “Over a year.” My eyes clenched tight and I flinched at the answer causing his hold on me to tighten. “I have come as often as I could to check on you. I felt it was my duty when I found you to do more than take you to the hospital. I could not just leave you there alone. What if you were to wake up? What if you had nowhere to go? What if you never woke up? Who would care for you? So I took it upon myself. And I do not regret a moment of it.” 

“Cas, if I’ve been asleep all this time, why haven’t you just let me die? I may never wake up and this is no way for me to live.” The moment the words left my lips I regretted them. I knelt before him once again and cupped his face. “I appreciate all you’ve done for me. I’m so glad you have taken care of me and been here with me all this time. But you know I’m right. I can’t stay in my own head forever.”

“The doctor’s say that physically you are fine and well. You healed quickly. But you still will not wake up. Your brain activity, heart rhythm, it is all healthy.” This made me tilt my head, my nose wrinkling. “They say it is your soul that is weary.” I watched as the hurt and guilt spread over his face and my heart broke. “Your husband broke not only your body but also your spirit. And that is what I have been trying to heal all this time.”

The rain had stopped and looking into his eyes, my heart soared. A smile spread across my face as the sunshine took over once again. He looked around confused for a moment before looking at me once again. The love and adoration in my eyes brought a smile to his face and I could feel his hands running gently down my sides. “The first thing I want to see when I wake up is you.” I stated rubbing my nose against his. And then we kissed. The energy between us sent a jolt through my entire body and I felt lighter than air. 

The next thing I knew, the field was gone. It was cold and I felt sore and disoriented. My body began to shift and I began to fear. My eyes hadn’t even opened yet, leaving me in darkness until I felt a warm hand gently rest on my shoulder. When my eyes burst open, the first thing I saw was those dazzling ocean blues and that face splitting smile. “Hello, my angel.” My voice didn’t sound quite right but I couldn’t care less. 

“Hello, my love.”


End file.
